Sympathy For The Devil

Bioluminescent Organisms (Paul A. Zahl, National Geographic)

Pleased to meet you… won’t you guess my name? What’s puzzling you is the nature of my game. No, not the Debbil, you twit. My name is unpronouncable. And we don’t give out our names to just anyone, anyhow. Unlike you, we believe in magic. To have something’s name is to have power over it. You can call me Bobby.

One thing we have to give you guys, you’re high maintenance vehicles. And relatively high performance, which is why we put up with you. (Actually, delicious is a bit closer to the mark.) But, no matter what clouds of obfuscation we inculcate, some of you are able to intuit a hint of what’s really going on. It turns up in your myths, your stories. Even yer rock and roll. Nowadays sci-fic has made us even somewhat understandable to you. At least there are currently better metaphors than the old Devil and spirit possession stuff. But computers, I think, offer the clearest analogy you can handle.

Think of me as a virus that has taken over your operating system. But I run totally in the background, relying on the fact that you have no conception of what goes on internally, but are instead conditioned to accept what appears on your CRT at face value. Of course, as a virus, I haven’t replaced your operating system entirely… I merely redirect the data flow from time to time. And ensure my survival.

And we can push this metaphor even further. You, as a mindless end-user, an uninspired consumer, can’t even begin to conceive of the flow of energy that takes place behind the screen, the use of power, the capturing and releasing of potentials, the illusion of profundity generated by the mundanity of ON or OFF. You’re only interested in the pretty pictures. You don’t give a rat’s ass about how it got there. To you, that’s boring! The mystery and the magic in the world is that energy can be manipulated in myriad ways, and the “picture” that results can be literally anything. But you prefer the tired and familiar. So you think the way we tell you to, you see what we want you to see, you feel what we want you to feel. You ass is ours, baby, and when we want your opinion, we’ll eat it out of you.

“Life’s a bitch, and then you die.” Culture in a nut-shell.

You guys are so silly. You’ll believe any damn thing, as long as it doesn’t take any effort on your part, and is all about you. Because let’s face it, kiddo, there is only one proposition you accept as truth without any need for supporting evidence… that YOU ARE SPECIAL. Give us a break! Four billion years of evolution. Millions of galaxies. Four billion peoples on Earth. And it’s all about you!

I grin like a wolf.

I laugh like hell.

All of you are standing in the gutter, but some of you are looking at the stars. And what you see there… tiny lights hung by God so you’d have something pretty to look at. God created the Earth just for you, and gave you dominion over everything in it. How convenient. How nice for you. The rest of the Universe? Just a backdrop. You guys are totally amazing, I admit. You watch a huge freaking comet smash the hell out of Jupiter, while you’re waiting for the Simpsons. You’re not worried, though, are you? God wouldn’t let anything like that happen to His children.

You know, the ones made in His own image. Like an omnipotent being is going to look like you! With white hair and a beard! He doesn’t even rate Armani or some nice Gucci loafers, no, it’s robes and sandals for the old boy. You fools have invented a God who couldn’t even get laid.

Not that He would, of course. Even Mary swears He was a perfect gentleman. But God doesn’t have time for such foolishness. He’s too busy spying on you, making sure you aren’t exhibiting any of the sinful tendencies His omnipotent self imbued you with. Cause ain’t nothing the Good Lord likes better than a good ass-whupping. Galaxies are colliding, black holes are eating star systems, the Sun is slowly expanding into Earth’s orbit… and you think the Universe cares whether or not you cheat on your income tax!

Because it’s all about return on investment for you, isn’t it, homey? You try to be good… in order to avoid punishment. You’re willing to be altruistic, as long as it doesn’t cost you anything. The very least you expect is an even swap. Look at your “Golden Rule”: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Nothing in there about doing what’s right because it’s right, is there? Y’all some mercenary mothers. You’d sacrifice your own sons if it would get you in good with the Man.

I fall down laughing.

Tears stream down.

And how many of you are even bothering to point the political correctness finger at me? I talk about White Male Christian Americans and the Human Race as if they’re interchangeable terms. If you are one, you’ve got no problem with that. Because let’s face it, everybody wants to be like you. Even your women. You’re top dog. Evolution’s end product. And if you aren’t one, either you’re so used to hearing Whitey equated with Mankind that you take it for granted, or you think your own silly notions are God’s Own Truth. When in fact, you couldn’t get a cunt hair between you.

It reminds me of one of my favorite movies… “Tarzan”. The Weissmuller classic, not any of these modern knock-offs. Get this. This aristocratic English kid is orphaned in Africa and raised by apes. His natural superiority comes through, and he’s soon King of the Jungle. He finally meets up with some other whites as they safari in search of the Elephant’s Graveyard, the place elephants go to die, and hence an ivory goldmine. It’s not like it’s grave robbing or anything, we’re talking about elephants, fer Chrissake. Anyhoo, the safari has to climb the forbidding cliffs, that guard the treasure. All the natives porters are carrying about five times theirs weight on their heads, while the white guys and the delectable Jane carry themselves. One of the porters slips and falls to a screaming death. Jane, horrified, is comforted by her suave companion with the following immortals words:

“Poor devil!”

You so crazy.

Posted in: predador do homem, religião, vida